THE ADI DA "TOP TEN" LISTS OF SRI BOB
10 Reasons Adi Da Is Not Who He Says He Is
By: Sri Bob, 8th (going on 9th) Stage Adept, Adi Da's Master, Supremo Avatar and Sat-Guru
Hey, babes and bros, when someone speaks or acts authoritatively in any arena, we want to believe everything they say is authoritative. That is why athletes sell sneakers. Just so.
But we also live in an era of increasing personal authority. It is a time when Christ returns not as one human, but through and as all of us -- according to sacred Sri Bobist lore, anyways. In this time, we elevate the experiences of others over our own only at great risk. So look upon my acolyte Franklin Jones with a jaundiced eye, sure, but also with compassion. He has aimed very high, so his failure is all the more spectacular, but it is still possible that he can turn things around and break up the scary bureaucratic web in which he is ensnared. (Okay, okay, I can hear Siddhartha pointing out that Da is more frightened of real life than he is of his followers, but, still . . . )
Anyways, here are 10 reasons Adi Da is not who he says he is:
1. The guy claims to be stably situated in The Bright -- God Realized, Abiding Forever Always Already in Timeless Infinite Bliss, Radiant Whatever, yada yada yada. Fact: We know he suffers from bouts of depression. So Frank is stabilized in Bliss, but battles depression? Sorry, dear acolytes, but this doesn't wash. It cannot wash. It ends all claims. It destroys all credibility. It's o-ver! But just in case, here are nine other reasons Adi Da is not who he says he is:
2. Sophomoric category errors. As noted by many observers, Adi Da has conflated his personal and transpersonal selves. He applies transpersonal characteristics to his personal self (I alone is All That Is, buckaroos!); and he applies personal characteristics to his transpersonal self (I am the One and Onliest of All Time!) While I have no doubt the Da-ster has tasted/sniffed many transpersonal states, I also have no doubt that this wayward acolyte of mine has failed to stabilize himself at these levels. Not a doubt in the world. Anybody got any V.O.? Oh, yes, the list:
3. Da's first-last-onliest claim is not just silly, but is itself based on a limited time-space context. In the transpersonal realms beyond time/space, first-last-onliest is meaningless. So what can it mean when he claims first-last-onliest? Your guess is as good as mine, but I think Da is either fibbing or deluded. Or both. Just so.
4. His sexual proclivities are clearly egoic and conditioned by limiting cultural norms. Note, as many have pointed out, that my acolyte gets it on with attractive female followers, not fat ugly old guy followers. Guess he doesn't really see himself equally in everyone after all. Given that we are dealing with consenting adults, his predilections are not criminal, understand, just tawdry enough to dispel any notions of unique divinity. Adi Da is just a regular guy, maybe a little oilier than most. That ain't so bad, is it?
5. All That Is is simply so marvelously infinitely complex that no single human (even one Diviner Than Thou) can be the Central Sustainer of All That Is 'n Shit. If Frank was even close, we would see miracles upon miracles. New stars would blaze in the sky. At a minimum, he would heal his followers of such diseases as cancer and MS and hay fever, even. More to the point, this quack physician would heal himself. Which leads us to yet another reason Adi Da is not who he claims to be:
6. Pure metaphorical brilliance! Frank has glaucoma, an essentially untreatable disease if you're a mere mortal. Two operations have failed to halt his progressive blindness. Face it, my adoring acolytes, a perfect guru going blind is a marvelous metaphor for the whole guru experience. Like their divinely un-purified guru, the Adidamistas are challenged to see what is happening right in front of their faces. Just so.
7. All the damn rules. (Adidamn rules?) Jesus, enough already. Money, food, exercise, sex, devotion, recreation, the right hemorrhoid cream, you name it. Everything in Adidam is either prescribed or proscribed--they're worse than the Southern Baptists. Whatever level adept Frank is, he oughta know that the more rules we humans have to live by, the less spontaneously and creatively we can live life and express our being. No wonder no one ever graduates from his academy. At least the Da-ster has the good sense to flagrantly violate his own rules.
8. Hiding from responsibility. Adi Da likes to say: "What I do is not the way that I Am, but the way that I teach." Well gee whiz, the devil--I mean, my acolytes--made me do it! Baloney. What a bunch of dualistic crap! As if someone could be separate from the way that they act/teach. Teaching stems from who you are. One thing is for sure: our buffoonish Adi Da is a Fully Realized 7th Level Cop-Out King.
9. Most damning of all: my acolyte has utterly failed in his mission. World Teacher? I'm waiting. Shaktipat up the yin-yang? Then why can't all this juice power up his acolytes? Why isn't Da cranking out one Realizer after another? Maybe Shaktipat is more like acid, mushrooms, other drugs--gets you there for an eyeblink, but can't keep you there? It is time we all realized that giving Shaktiput is a medium level talent--sideshow stuff. A 12-step program for Shaktipat junkies, anyone?
10. Finally, the whole Adi Da program just cannot pass the giggle test. Really. Just looking at his pictures, or hearing the slavish, grotesquely adoring testimonials of his followers, or seeing all those Capitalized words . . . it cracks me up--when I'm not appalled.
And that's 10 reasons Adi Da ain't what he says he is. Enough said. (For now.) Just so.
Namaste, -Sri Bob, 8th (going on 9th) Stage Adept
Ten Commandments for the Ruchira Buddha wannabe formerly known as Frank
By Sri Bob:
Blame it on Pilgrim (a Daist poster to the Lightmind website). In a recent thread he made a mocking suggestion to Elias regarding Adi Da: "Why don't you send Him your credentials, and a list of recommended commandments."
Of course, I AM Da's Teacher. I say this without shame. Well, maybe a little. Okay, I'm so humiliated, my lower chakras are clenched tighter than a constipated chicken's butt. No wonder I need my V.O. Now, where was I? Oh, yes: So even though Pilgrim was on the wrong end of the trolley, as usual, he got me thinking. The Da-ster needs credentials and commandments, does he? Well, it sure couldn't hurt; God knows I've tried everything else.
Now, being an 8th (going on 9th) stage Adept obviates the need for a crass display of credentials. I am Da's Master--Supremo Avatar and Sat-Guru Sri Bob. Just So. After Divinely Considering the recent posts on the matter of Adi Da, here are
My Own Ten Commandments for the Ruchira Buddha wannabe formerly known as Frank:
1. Thou shalt, for a period of no less than a year, get a day job. (I'm thinking something like the counter at Taco Bell, something Rich in Relationship, if Poor in Minimum Wage, my son. Live with ordinary people for awhile, witness the divine beauty of their guru-less lives, feast on Burrito Supremes with extra hot sauce.)
2. Thou shalt learn to write cogently--and without all those Capital Letters, for chrissake. (Your unending torrent of tomes have become harder and harder for mere mortal piglets to wade through. Suggestion: Come up with a digestible 300-page summary of your Work. Call it A Brief History of Every. . . er . . . well, you get the idea. And get an editor, for once, someone with a big red pen. Indeed. Just so.)
3. Thou shalt cut the "I Am The One & Only" shtick. (Yes, you're the Most High & Most Humble--you’ve told us thousands of times, how could we forget?--but this misapplication of a transpersonal state to your specific embodiment puts many off your message. You’ve conflated your Transpersonal Self with your Personal Self, babe. Said another way, to know yourself as The Big One transpersonally does not mean you alone are The Big One personally. Get it? Whenever in doubt as to which category you are speaking from, remember that your transpersonal self doesn't poop.)
4. Thou shalt not incessantly whine about not being well received by the world at large. (Are you powerless before the least of us humans? If you're Who you say You are--Hero of all heroes, Master of all masters, God of all gods--then create a more receptive world, dammit! I mean, you’ve prophesied that by your 60th birthday, you’ll be recognized as The World Teacher by the bulk of humanity. That’s 1999, babe. We’re talking one year to go from Zero to Hero. You better get cookin’, my son, or a false prophet ye shall be.)
5. Thou shalt not encourage flatland idolatry of thy self. (The passing Personal Era demanded personal gods and gurus. We had great heroes from Christ to Charlemagne to Douglas MacArthur. We don’t believe saviors are the answer any more. The dawning Transpersonal Era moves beyond the adolescent craving for a super-dad to solve our problems [if only we worship well enough]. We’re here on earth to save ourselves. No one--not you, not the God of All Gods--no one can do it for us. All of which, by the way, makes your Greatest of Alllll Tiiime claim a bit over the top, wouldn’t you say?)
6. Thou shalt take thy show on the Road. (We're talking real feedback here, babe; don't just hang with starstruck devotees who would happily & intellectually justify it if you raped, murdered and ate young boys. Grok on with top scientists and sociologists and spiritual adepts--share your wisdom and subject your follies to the fire of equal relationship. Put simply: stop hiding from the world, Franklin. Stop Hiding. Just so.)
7. Thou shalt try really hard to figure out why the world's Spiritual Adepts do not support your claims of being the Big Kahuna of Alllll Tiiime. (I mean, really, howsacome nobody who’s anybody recognizes your silly claims of First-Last-Onliest? How come? And just for kicks, my son, don't rely on your standard refrain of, "Everybody's out of step but Me." Learn to share the glory and someday maybe you’ll move to the big tent instead of being considered a sideshow wacko. V.O. Samadhi, anyone?)
8. Thou shalt not expose film until further notice. (As in, there are plenty enough graven images of you already. Thanks for the thought, though. Don’t you realize that the repressed ego of little Franklin constantly shines through the Wizard of Oz facade that is Adi Da? I mean, Jesus, talk about Narcissus! You’re the archetype, Frankie boy.)
9. Thou shalt speak out of no more than one side of your herpes-blistered mouth. (Stop building a cult while decrying cultism, for heaven’s sake. Stop claiming your followers think for themselves while empowering a cultic bureaucracy that brooks no deviation from an infinity of rules. In fact, stop ‘confessing’ anything, you shameless braggart. And practice safe sex while’s you’re at it, you crafty old VD spreader, you. Some healer you are. Just so, indeed.)
10. MOST OF ALL, thou shalt not preach that ordinary life is a pathology. (Yes, there are pathological aspects to the primal contraction, but haven't you heard that eternity is in love with the productions of time? Physical reality ain’t no mistake, mate!--it’s a kickass unfolding of the Divine. Plain and simple?: Contraction is a technique, not a problem. Your entire shtick would change for the better if I could just get you to understand this, my frightened son.)
And besides, Muhammed Ali is, was, and forever shall be, "The greatest of Allllll Tiiime!"
Many Thanks and a Namaste or Two,
His Wholeness, 8th (going on 9th) Stage Adept, Sri Bob