Example of how angry Adi Da Samraj blamed the 1985 blowup with dissident ex-members on his devotees, who sheepishly accepted responsibility. Poster Bobby looks at a James Steinberg "lila" on this topic.
Posted by Bobby on Nov-20-99 1:12pm
A glimpse of what it's like to be Adi Da's disciple. These are the published words of James Steinberg, longtime "insider":
"Besides Giving us the Grace of His Love, Sri Gurudev Da Love-Ananda has
also Instructed me and all His devotees with the force of His Divine
Anger and Criticism, pointing out things to me that were my own
limitations and that needed to be changed. He has also done this more
intensely and with more force than I have experienced anywhere else in
my life. And this confrontation with my own limitations truly hurts and
is extremely difficult. But I have come to see this also as the
Sat-Guru's Blessing....
"I was given a lesson in this on one occasion when I came into a
gathering with Sat-Guru Da having failed Him in my service and feeling
very much in need of His Help. Sri Da Avabhasa began to Serve me very
forcefully. He Shouted at me for not serving Him more fully and for not
defending Him during a difficult time in the histroy of our Communion in
1985 when He had been wrongfully criticized in the newspapers and media,
and therefore for not rightly living the relationship to Him as my
Sat-Guru. He Shouted at me continuously for over an hour. As His Voice
grew louder, I became scared. He is very Powerful, and in my own egoity
I did everything I could in my mind to defend myself. I kept thinking
what I could say to counter His Shout. I kept finding things in the
Words He was saying that would allow me to feel good about myself...
"The gathering had been going on for several hours, so about this time
there was a short break. After discussions with my friends during the
break, I returned to Da Avabhasa' Company in a different disposition.
When He began to Shout at me again, I now remained in relationship with
Him as His devotee. I understood Him to be my True Heart-Master, Whose
every Action is for the sake fo my purification....I allowed myself to
be pentrated by His Shouts....I felt felt Da Avabhasa's Nager ripping
through my obstructions, purifying and releasing em of the burden that I
was carrying relative to everything He was saying. I was able to let go
of my guilt and remorse about my past weakness and wrong relationship to
Him. (Divine Distraction, p 154, James Steinberg, Dawn Horse Press,
1991)
A couple of observations: this is a good example of behavior that, if Adi Da did not claim to be God, could be clearly seen as abusive, but since he does claim to be God, is seen by devotees as a form of service! Steinberg is clear in the first couple of sentences that Adi Da points his anger at all his devotees. Adi Da has been shouting at Steinberg for over an hour, but when Steinberg feels self-defensive sentiments arising in him, he interprets this as egoic resistance!! During the break, the peer pressure is put on Steinberg, encouraging him to not resist Adi Da's harangue, but to internalize all the blame. This is a prime characteristic of abusive situations: the victims learn to blame themselves, because the abuser claims that all the abuse is "for your own good." The abuser does not admit that he is meeting any of his own needs by the abuse; instead, he makes the victim feel that the abuser is "serving" the victim. This is heard often from pedophiles, for example, who claim that their child-victims need or want the sexual contact the abuser so lovingly provides. This also shows that the 1985 stuff did get under Adi Da's skin, but predictably, he took it out on his devotees. It wasn't that Adi Da shouldn't have behaved in the way he did, oh no, it was rather that obedient little sheep like Steinberg didn't do more to defend him in the media! That was the problem! In fact, news clippings from 1985 show that Steinberg did indeed defend Adi Da publicly at that time.
Bobby